After I moved to Portland in 1997, I almost immediately started writing for the Oregonian. The Living Section under Mark Wigginton (my all-time favorite editor) was crackling. In those days they had a Sunday Living Section which ran lengthy stories.
So what did I do? I wrote a 3500 word piece on an all-night bingo "parlor."
I'm not sure this is the final final version of this piece (they actually had a separate copy editor), but it's what's on my old drive from that time.
I played but I did not win.
By Tom D'Antoni
Before
proceding with this article, first make sure no one near you will be startled
by loud noises, now put the paper down and shout, "BINGO!!!" as loud
as you can.
Felt pretty
good, huh?
Now imagine you
had invested a sum of money in bingo cards and the number just called had won
you seven hundred bucks. Want to try it again?
Go ahead,
pretend you won.
Nice, huh.
That feeling is
only a part of the essence of one of America's most popular communal sports.
Others are sociability and obesssion.
For example,
BEO Bingo, at SE 12th and Taylor is open from 4 p.m. until 2 a.m. on most
nights, till 4 a.m. on Thursday nights, and till SIX a.m. Friday and Saturday
nights. That was not a typo. Six a.m. Some of the bingo players arrive at 4 p.m.
and stay the whole fourteen hours.
THE WHOLE FOURTEEN HOURS
DAY: Friday
TIME: 3:42 p.m.
LOCATION: Parking Lot across 11th Ave.
There are
already fifteen cars in it. The bumper sticker on the 1973 Dodge Rebel reads,
"Happiness is Yelling BINGO!"
That nearly
sums it all up.
3:47 p.m.
LOCATION: Near the snack bar
Karen Benson,
tonight's manager is busy, but not to busy to try to explain how to
participate. There is a $6 minimum. For your six bucks you get fifteen sheets
of paper with four bingo cards printed on each one. Each sheet is for one game
of "regular bingo." There are also five "early-bird" games
and eight "special games" during the course of the first part of the
evening. They cost extra. The first part of the evening begins now and ends
around ten-thirty when the T-Ups begin.
We'll get to
T-Ups later.
Benson explains
the seven ways to win at regular bingo, and a few of the more exotic
configurations including the "picnic table," (aka "ironing
board") the "layer cake," also the "small crazy kite,"
and the "crashing airplane."
She points out
the double row of computer monitors. They keep track of how you're doing for
you. There are also laptops which require the player to enter each number as it
is called. Both buzz automatically when you bingo. Computer players also play
the traditional "paper" cards at the same time. There is a $40
minimum for the computers. It can run into serious money.
4:04 p.m.
LOCATION: The only non-smoking table in the main (smoking)
part of the hall. There is an entire seperate non-smoking room connected
visiually (windows and monitors), aurally (speakers) and psychically (same
greed) to the larger room.
Two and a half
hours before the first number is called, there are already twenty-five players
here, including retired couples Hal and Betty Decker, and Jerry and Jeannie Brophy who are involved in a
furious game of self-bingo. Hal gets the numbers from a deck of playing cards,
calling them out with the aplomb, while the others warm up for the real thing
by playing along and pitching dimes into a small cardboard jewelry box which
they keep covered because it's against the rules to gamble without the house
participating.
They do not
stay until 6 a.m.
"We're not
crazy," Hal explains. "We play here once a week, and in other halls
three times a week. It keeps us off the streets."
4:12 p.m.
LOCATION: Helen and Bob's table.
Helen Gray
comes here every night. At age eighty-one, she is known by everyone in the
place. Why every night?
"I'm a
widow and I live with my son. I like to play bingo and I like the people here.
It's something to do." She likes to win, but that's not the point for her.
"Sometimes I win and that's fine. Sometimes I don't and that's fine
too."
Helen has put
daubers next to her and on the table behind her, marking those spaces so others
do not sit there. Something about smoke and noise, she says. She sits in the
same spot every night.
Bob Davis, her
regular playing partner has not yet arrived.
4:23 p.m.
LOCATION: various tables
More people
arrive. They set up shop. Some have brought out little troll dolls for luck.
This is a bingo tradition. No one asked can think of a reason why this is so.
A woman in a
black and gold baseball hat has decorated her space with flowers. She has no
trolls, but reaches in her purse and points, "I have a little doggie in
here." It is a stuffed doll, not a real dog.
Mr. Manhattan
(we'll call him that since he says he doesn't like to see his name in the
paper) has placed a stuffed cat doll alongside his array of daubers. He has the
most elaborate set of daubers in the building, including several with tops in
the shape of elephant heads. He has a lot of them.
"Why so
many?" he explains. "Sometimes the wife takes my car and the daubers
are in the car so I have to buy more......"
This sounds
plausible but Karen Benson's explanation of dauber psychology comes closer.
"They use so many because they think they can change their luck. "
Security guard John Goldstein, a keen observer of the scene adds, "Some
people believe certain colors work better for certain games, and certain dolls
work for certain games too."
Green is a
popular dauber color. It's the color of money
5:34 p.m.
LOCATION: Next to Mr. Manhattan's table
John Goldstein
warns that some people believe that the house cheats. Karen Benson mentions the
same thing. So does Cherry Jensen the assistant manager, "When they don't
win they say, 'You're cheating.' They don't say that when they win."
A prime example
approaches. She is the Art Bell of bingo. She thinks the management puts
microphones and cameras in the ceiling so they can see when you're about to
bingo. She also says that they don't clean the balls, something she thinks
keeps them on the bottom of where the balls are mixed. She does not explain how
that might affect the game. None of the other players can figure out what she
means, either.
When asked why
she comes here every night even though she thinks the game is rigged against
her, she says, "Where else you gonna go? You'd have to go clear up to 82nd
or 123rd."
And then in a
moment of semi-self-revelation she says, "I'm stupid. I don't know why I
keep coming here. I'm dumb."
Cherry Jensen
knows her. "She's here every single night. She'll go 'How're you doing
sweetie?' and be real nice to you. Another employee will come along and she'll
say, 'They never call my bingo. They hate me.'
"People
who lose always say they're never coming back, but they always do."
6:13 p.m.
LOCATION: Paul and Joan's table
They're still
playing their own game. Hal says, "It's a dumb game. Look at the people
who're here. You can see that for yourself. We tell ourselves if we don't win
we're donating to a good charity."
Hence the name
BEO, Blind Enterprises of Oregon, a charitable organzation that provides, among
other things, work for blind folks using monogram making machinery in another
part of the building. The profits go to that organization two nights per week.
They go to the Fibromyalgia Association of American on other nights.
Bingo in Oregon
is regulated fairly closely by the Oregon Department of Justice, Gaming Unit,
and each operation must be sponsored by a charity of one sort or another.
BEO's part of
the operation grossed $1,388, 935 during the last four quaters reported to the
ODJGU. Their best quater was January 1-March 31, 1997 when they took in
$474,991 in bingo handle and concessions, paid out $345,720 in bingo prizes and
netted $76, 724 for the organization, after payrolls and other expenses. By
law, at least five percent must to to the sponsoring charity.
6:30 p.m.
LOCATION: A table near the refreshment stand.
The "early
bird" games have begun. They are cheaper to buy into but also payout less.
They serve as warmups to the real thing.
"It's a
wonderful safe place for women to go for an outing," says one of the two
women at the table. "And you might win some money."
She uses an
unusual two-handed daubing technique, one in each hand. This method is made
even more difficult by the cigarette she constantly has going.
There are
minute variations in daubing technique but the two main procedures are as
follows:
1. The overhand
stab. Dauber held straight and vigorously placed upon the lucky number. And
then just as vigorously removed once the ink is in place.
2. The roll.
Dauber lowered slowly and gently rolled over the number.
Neither have
one single thing to do with winning. But a player may feel the luck can change
with a change in dauber and/or dauber technique.
6:38pm
LOCATION: Jerry's table
Jerry is one of
the few men under 60 in the place. He's handsome and fit (also a rare sight),
has salt and pepper hair and has been here since 3:45pm. Why?
"It's
gambling. It's a fever. It's luck. It's all in the paper and balls."
Why here, and
not another bingo parlor tonight?
"It's the
staff. They're organized and trained. They get out and sell the paper."
He means they
make the special bingos readily available by walking around the room and
letting you know they're selling the cards.
"They work
hard for their money."
You may now use
the Donna Summer song as the sound track for the rest of the story. In your
head.
6:44 p.m.
LOCATION: Helen and Bob's table.
Bob, who
arrived a little while ago with a bag o' ribs, which he has distributed to some
of the workers and is about to dive into himself, has a big smile.
Helen, his playing partner has just bingoed. A hundred
bucks. Helen is taking it in stride.
7:02
LOCATION: Mr. Manhattan's table. The "regular"
bingo begins.
He's invested
over $200 in a laptop and paper cards. He hasn't won yet but smiles and says,
"I'm doing fine. As soon as I get the money I spent back in my pocket the
rest is gravy. That's when I tip the workers here. Sometimes they go to dinner
with it when they accumulate enough money. Sometimes it takes years for them to
accumulate enough."
He's close on
three cards. He's "on." This does not mean he's the life of the
party. It means he needs one more number to bingo.
He doesn't get
it.
"That's
the story of my life," he says, not complaining, really. "I'm
sixty-eight. If you just sit there at home in a chair, getting older and older
and older, feeling sorry for yourself.....well, then you'll be a
vegetable."
He's sorry he
lost that game but, "You can't take it with you," he observes.
7: 09 p.m.
LOCATION: same
He wins on a
postage stamp. He is still $105 in the hole.
7:15 p.m.
LOCATION: Next to the "packet windows" where the
cards are bought.
Like a wartime
reporter who takes up arms in heat of battle, I purchase the $6 minimum
"buyin."
7:17 p.m.
LOCATION: The little Bingo Store inside the hall.
I purchase my
dauber. Green (the color of money). It is a ZDI Silver with Scented Ink (fake
pine of some sort). It has bingo balls I-28, B-11, N-38, G-46, and O-71 on the
label, along with a holographic display. The back of the label says Marquer De
Bingo, Bingo King Co. Council Bluffs, IA.
It has ridges
on the sides for gripping.
7:20 p.m.
LOCATION: Helen and Bob's table
I join them.
It's not
exactly like when I drove in a demoliton derby for a story, but then there was
no chance of my winning any money that day, only a good chance of breaking
several of my bones.
I am not happy with my daubing, I can't
seem to get the damn thing to make nice circles like Helen and Bob's, and I'm
only working on six cards, they have bought four packets each and are working
twenty four cards each.
I keep
referring to the one page program they give you to see if I'm getting anything
that resembles one of the "Seven Ways To Win At Regular Bingo."
The ball comes
up in one of 6 TV monitors on the walls before it is called. There is a set
interval between balls. Real bingo players pay no attention to the letters
B-I-N-G and O, they know where the numbers are.
I have to look.
I am obvlivious
to a potential "4 Inside Corners" bingo on one of my cards. Bob, kind
gentleman, is watching out for me, daubing his cards like crazy and looking
over at mine to see if I missed something. No rookie hazing here.
Bob spots my
"4 Inside Corners" potential.
"You're
on," he says.
"I
am?"
"4 Inside
Corners," pointing out that three of the four numbers surrounding the free
space are daubed.
Just when I
begin to get excited.....
"BINGO!!"
Somebody else
wins.
"POSSIBLE!!"
shouts a worker, who runs over and checks the card.
It is varified
and I'm a loser.
Suddenly I get
it. I was thatclose to two-hundred bucks. Only a daub away.
I tense up,
waiting for the next game and the next and the next. All of a sudden this has
become a physical excersize.
I try to
concentrate but there are times when I'm thinking about how I'm gonna write
this story. At those times my pal (by now) Bob tells me I've missed a number
here and there. How could I miss a number? All traces of any holier-than-thou
attitude I may have harbored have vanished.
I am at one
with the rest of the players, united in the desire for the dough.
The games go
on. Sometimes I'm on, sometimes I'm close, sometimes somebody gets a bingo with
only four numbers called (the minimum).
Hey! That can't
be right!! I begin to look above me for cameras and micropohones.
The workers
come by selling the "extra games" for a buck a sheet. I can win $700
in this game? YEAH, I'll take one. These extra games are called
"Blackouts" becuase in order to win you have to daub out every living
square on the card.
I needed three
numbers to bingo on the first blackout. I lost. I needed five on the second
blackout. I lost worse.
All of a sudden
an hour and a half has passed, and it's time for intermission.
8:44
LOCATION: The snack bar
Most popular
menu item tonight. Fish and chips for $4. Second most popular menu item: The
Dauber Burger, a slab of hamburger plus ham, cheese and egg. And perhaps a
drill to unclog your arteries.
I eat one. I
think it is still with me, weeks later.
8:51
LOCATION: Jerry's table
How is he
doing? "Am I in the black? Well, if you kept track of how much you invest
and how much you win, it would be depressing. That would be like keeping track
of how much money you give your child a month.
"Everybody's
here for the money, you'd be a fool not to be. You're not going to come here and
spend money and burn your paper."
Your bingo
cards, he means.
9:01
LOCATION: Helen and Bob's table
Time for the
big one. The special game that pays $1200 for a blackout. None of us win.
That's what it's come down to. Winning. That's all.
9:37
LOCATION: All over the hall
The sounds of
exasperation have crept in. An audible "sh.............t" comes from
all around us when somebody (else) bingos. It comes from our table too. Helen
and Bob have not bingoed. They don't seem to mind.
By now there are
lots of paper bags-full of broken dreams (used losing paper) next to each
player. These are supplied by the management.
10:26
LOCATION: Mr. Manhattan's table as the last regular game
ends.
"I ended
up about a hundred-forty in the hole," he says with a small smile.
"Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose."
People get up
quickly and leave, as newcomers enter the hall for the next round, T-Ups, which
is like regular bingo but much speedier. The callers spit out the numbers at a
much faster rate. How fast? So fast, that most players only use one bingo card.
That fast.
A huge vat of
coffee has been placed near the 5 tables that will be used for T-Ups.
Of all the
people we've spent time with, only Jerry remains.
10:40
LOCATION: Near the caller
There are
thirty-five players left in the hall. Speed Bingo begins. The attendants walk
up and down the tables quickly picking up chips which serve as money in T-Ups,
and laying down paper.
The games go
quickly. Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! A game every ninety seconds or so, it
seems.
The same person
wins twice in a row. The players are steamed.
11:00p.m.-2:00a.m.
LOCATION: I don't remember
People come and
go. The games go on. Endlessly.
There are
differences in this game. the most unusual of which is, "No purses,
stuffed animals, or other items not related to the game are allowed on the
table."
3:30a.m.
LOCATION: The parking lot.
There are 18
cars in it, more than there were at the begninning.
Inside, a woman
is asleep on the bench near the snack bar, now closed.
Hair comes down
all over the hall. Cherry Jensen, the assistant manager has taken over the
reins from Karen, who has gone home. On her break she talks about how her house
burned down and her kids are spread all over the Western United States. She
makes accusations against her not-yet ex-husband. She makes adjustments in a
bingo game in dispute without missing a beat. She wants to find a place in town
but they want you to make too much money for her to rent. She's living on a
boat. She doesn't understand how people can come in here seven nights a week
and spend so much money.
"What, are
they married to a millionaire?"
4:37a.m.
LOCATION: Jerry's table
He gets up,
over twelve hours into his bingo marathon and says, "My legs are
cramped."
The woman is
still sleeping on the bench.
5:21a.m.
LOCATION: In the middle of the floor
Four people
leave. There are still 30 people playing.
One player
says, "After this I need a second job."
His partner
says, "This IS my second job."
5:45a.m.
LOCATION: The same
Another dispute
breaks out. This time over whether a number was called or not. Angry shouts of
cheating. It is resolved, but not to
everyone's liking.
Are you tired
Jerry? "Yeah, I'm tired."
They call for a
makeup game, and it is played. This doesn't satisfy everybody.
6:03a.m.
LOCATION: Near the angry people
Eighteen people
left playing. Yet, another dispute breaks out. The same thing. Was a number
called or not. It is ruled a "caller error".
"It'll be
a long time before I come back here," one exhausted patron shouts.
"Thank you
for playing BEO Bingo, and have a good night."
It's over.
They file out.
Jerry is bleary eyed and not happy.
Why, oh why are
people still here at six o'clock in the morning?
A smiling woman
says, "Why wouldn't I be here at six o'clock in the morning? It's fun as
long as I don't do it every day. You bring the money you can aford to lose. You
don't come to get the money to pay your bills."
6:10a.m.
LOCATION: Walking out
They're mostly
still angry. Jerry says he's not coming back.
The person
walking out with Jerry crosses the parking lot and says, "Take a nap so
you can play bingo tomorrow!!"
P.S. Jerry was
back at BEO the next friday at 4p.m.
LOCATION: My truck.
The last player
has gone. It dawns on me that I didn't have a chance to shout
"Bingo!" even once.
Now I know why
they go back.
It is a bingo
epiphany.
